Making a List.

First off, I realize I'm being a bit passive-aggressive with having this VERY public blog and seriously contemplated on posting a profile of #$%@! (rhymes with HIM) on www.dontdatehimgirl.com. I might still actually go through with that last part, although I could very well also realize by tomorrow that I'm being stupid and this is embarrassing and take all of this down. However, at this moment I just want some sort of outlet because I am incredibly P***d off. I still wanna beat the sh*t out of that girl Ao. Yeah and if anyone you know is reading this I don't give a damn because you had me baking cupcakes for you, all the while you were trying to steal my boyfriend!

So anyway, back to the point. I'm making a list of things I DO/DON't. I'll probably be putting it up as I go along.

1) DO put in the Effort.

It is one of the biggest things I've realized since we broke up. A little goes a very long way. I spent 8.5 years with someone who did/gave things with half-hearted effort for a variety of reasons. One of the reasons I suppose was because he was given everything in life so he very well didn't know how to work hard for things, there was also the lack of experience on his part and of course in my own inexperience I lacked the understanding and foresight to know that I should be asking for more. He never called or made an effort to check in on me on a daily basis but would call at the end of HIS days (no matter how inconvenient it was for me) like anywhere from 2AM to 4AM, sometimes not at all, and I accepted that. In 8.5 years that NEVER changed and I'm kind of thinking about it now in freaking disbelief! This was in the beginning of the relationship when he was super into me. What the hell was I thinking?? When the relationship started to unravel, he called less, came by less often, lied A LOT, etc. but was there really much of a difference from the beginning of the relationship other than he said nicer things to me in the beginning.
**on a side note, have i mentioned that our relationship started off with lies and that there was also someone else. super weird how my relationship ended under similar circumstances when it started just that this time he chose the other girl?
Jim always gave me material things. He took me out to eat. Helped me out when I needed help. But he could never do the little things, like call/text when he was going to be late or for goodness sakes! just avoid being late altogether. he never planned anything for my birthday or our anniversary or heck, just plan something for the sake of planning. (Oh yeah, BUT he took that girl to a restaurant that I POINTED out to him and wanted to go to. . .that was *effing low of him!) So many little things overlooked, but to think about it now I realize how ridiculous it was and I blame myself most of all for not trying to get anything better than that for myself.