Dull throbbing. . .

so i woke up today and that dull throbbing in my chest was back. why won't it just leave me alone? I know that when I find someone else this will all become insignificant, but before I can do that I need to work on myself. i need to work on becoming independent. The next time I'm with someone I want to be in the position to ask for nothing less than their full effort. I want to be swept off my feet. I want a partner. I want EVERYTHING that Jim never gave me and very little of what he did.